Is Marriage Hard for Highly Educated Women? Part 2

The very first solution I gave Ms. A (the master's graduate) and Ms. B (the pharmacist) from the previous part was "Ideal Type Design."

When deciding on the person you'll marry, there are two things that matter most.

1. Self-awareness (metacognition)
2. Priorities

Most of you have had the experience where "the person I like doesn't like me, and the people I don't want keep coming my way."

This happens because of number 1 above, a lack of self-awareness.

The bigger the gap between the people you can meet and the people you want to meet, the more often it happens.

"So how do I meet the person I want?"

As the saying "know thyself" goes, the key is metacognition.

What's metacognition? Simply put, it's self-awareness, seeing yourself objectively.

To be blunt: in the marriage market, is a woman's education a top priority?

It does have some influence, but it isn't number one.

That means the moment you lean on your education alone and your standards shoot up, that's where the vicious cycle begins.

Because men with a similar level of education are likely to prefer women who are young, pretty, and have a reasonable education.

So if all you have is the absolute conviction that "with my education, I can't date anyone below this level,"

meeting the person you want can become even harder.

So how do you meet the person you want?

First, write out the conditions you want in a man.

By conditions I mean everything: external conditions, internal conditions, and situational conditions.

Situational conditions may be an unfamiliar idea, but it means exactly what it sounds like: education, job, career, family background, even family medical history.

Is writing all of that down enough?

You need to know what kind of person a man who meets the conditions you've written down would want,

so you can shape yourself accordingly and approach him.

Knowing what kind of partner your ideal type wants requires data.

If you want that data, a good first step is to submit the diagnosis questionnaire.

Even as a highly educated woman, if you truly know yourself and understand what conditions your ideal type is looking for,

you can absolutely have the ideal marriage, even if you're past the marriageable age.

I hope every one of you finds your ideal type.