Why You Can't Meet a Good Man - For Women (Part 2)
The real reason you haven't met a good man
I'm curious what went through your mind after the last column. Today, let's go a bit deeper. This time I want to talk about the decisive reason you can't meet a "good man." It's this: you don't know where the good men are.
Let's say, roughly, that you're in your late 20s to early 30s, and the men you'd like to meet are in their early 30s to early 40s. What are the men earning over 10,000,000 KRW a month actually doing? Have you ever stopped to think about what they do for a living and what they've been through to get there?
Let's start with doctors.
Most doctors in their early-to-mid 30s have just finished residency or are working as salaried physicians. They see patients for more than 8 hours a day, and if they're working toward board certification, they're pouring even more time into studying and work. Unless there's family money, they usually take out loans to open a practice, and from then on they have no choice but to focus on seeing patients to pay those loans back.
Men in the legal field?
Pass the bar, finish the Judicial Research and Training Institute, complete military service, and you're already in your early 30s. Prosecutors and judges are a spec you can barely even get access to. They usually marry strategically through the connections of powerful families, or marry within their own league. Lawyers are similar: they've done nothing but study, so many of them lack dating experience. Opening a practice is easier for them than for doctors, so rather than looking for a rich woman, they tend to want a woman who will make their life comfortable.
Accountants and tax accountants?
Accounting has become a specialized field these days, and the era of raking in money under the table is over. To earn over 10,000,000 KRW a month, you'd need to be in your early 40s at a big accounting firm, or working a second job. Tax accountants, too, need to run their own office with at least three employees to make that kind of income.
What about business owners?
Business owners with stable income usually have at least 10 employees. There are also men who succeed young and make big money, but you know how people say those guys are "jaded"? Men like that honestly don't feel any need to sign up with a matchmaking agency. Most self-employed people and business owners can have unstable income, so they live on edge and perpetually busy.
Unless, that is, they inherited a building from their parents.
Men at big corporations?
Among men working at big corporations, almost none earn over 10,000,000 KRW a month. For ordinary office workers, that kind of income is hard to reach no matter how much age and experience they accumulate.
So what's the important point here?
Looking at these men, you'll notice they're all busy and run off their feet. If you're hoping to meet a good man by sitting in clubs, bars, or cafes late at night, you're unlikely to run into them. These men value their time enormously. So even when they want to meet someone, they try to economize on that time. And their self-esteem is high enough that no matter how pretty you are, they won't easily make the first move.
So where on earth are the good men?
They're getting personal training at the gym, taking a public-speaking class as a hobby, constantly working to improve themselves. You need to make the effort to get to where they are.
What exactly is a "good man," anyway?
One more thing to clear up. You might misread this as saying only men earning over 10,000,000 KRW a month count as "good men." That's not what this column means. The point is to give you a standard for choosing a better man among the men around you. Marriage may be a once-in-a-lifetime choice, and that choice can shape the next 50 to 60 years. It's worth thinking about how your life could change if you meet a good man, and what the opposite would look like.
The truth can be uncomfortable, but...
I hope this column helps you understand why you haven't met a good man. The truth can sometimes be uncomfortable, but in the end it becomes an opportunity to look at yourself and make a better choice.
