How to Tell If He's Into You (feat. Winning Tips for the Talking Stage)

Everyone has lots of gatherings around the end and start of the year. It's also the best time, and the best setting, for love to blossom naturally.

Don't you want to know whether the person you like at a gathering likes you back?

The special things people naturally do, even in a crowd, around someone they're attracted to

are so natural that they leave you second-guessing, and wanting them even more.

First, they copy your movements.

This is also called mirroring. If you take a sip of water and they follow, or you touch your ear and they touch theirs?

Once or twice could be coincidence, but if you catch the same behavior several times,

it may be an unconscious reaction that comes from being interested in you.

Second, they act differently from how they act around others.

"I'm not usually like this..." "This isn't who I normally am..."

It may sound like an excuse, but in reality, it gets even harder to show your true self in front of someone you like.

In front of someone you're attracted to, you get psychologically more tense and hide yourself in an attempt to look good.

So you end up fumbling for no reason, and it becomes hard for your usual, natural self to come out.

Third, they come within a 45cm radius.

Humans have social distances. Taking that into account, anything within a 45cm radius is each person's own territory.

When someone they're interested in is in front of them, they gently nudge their body or belongings in that direction

and try to take up more space.

So, now that you've confirmed they're interested in you, what you're most curious about is how to go from the talking stage to actually dating.

The answer: create "cognitive dissonance."

We usually treat the people we like well.

So, conversely, are the people we treat well the people we like?

Not necessarily. And yet, making someone throw that question mark into their own head is what cognitive dissonance is.

You make small, low-pressure requests of the person you're interested in, and get them to do those favors for you.

When you do, you keep creating situations where they're doing nice things for you, until they start thinking, "Am I being nice to them because I like them?" That approach is called cognitive dissonance.

This has been proven by research, too.

There's a fascinating study on attraction-related behavior known as the "Franklin Effect."

It's a psychological theory that attraction increases not only when we do favors for someone, but also when they do small favors for us.

In 1969, psychologists J. Jecker and D. Landy ran an experiment exploring the relationship between favors and liking.

In the experiment, participants were paid money, and then the researchers approached them under one of three conditions.

Personal request: the researcher asked the participant to return the money to help fund the experiment. Neutral request: participants were told that an administrative office unrelated to the research needed the money back. No request: no request was made at all.

The result: when the researcher personally asked the participants for the favor, the participants expressed greater liking for the researcher.

This shows that the act of doing a favor increases liking for the person who asked.

Try asking the person you're attracted to for a small, low-pressure favor.

For example, requests like "Do you know this place?" or "Could you take a photo from over here?" naturally start a conversation,

and can nudge the other person toward taking an interest in you.

This research scientifically backs up just how important positive actions are in starting and developing a relationship.