What You Must Do If You Want to Meet the Person You'll Marry (feat. Ideal Type Design)

Let me start with the conclusion. If you want to marry your ideal type, you need to do Ideal Type Design.

It's not that you particularly don't want to get married... but you don't want to marry just anyone either...

If someone you wanted to marry showed up, you'd get married, but a person like that is nowhere to be found no matter how hard you look.

So you make every effort you can think of.

You've paid a fortune to a matchmaking agency, signed up for dating apps, and taken every setup your friends could offer,

yet isn't every blind date followed by another evening of coming home deflated?

Is there really someone out there who's right for me? If I just wait, won't my soulmate show up someday?

And since it seems like they'll never show up anyway, aren't you just sitting back and hoping your ideal marriage partner will somehow appear?

What is Ideal Type Design?

Ideal Type Design is a framework for, quite literally, designing the ideal type you're going to marry.

Usually, when someone asks "What's your ideal type?"

we answer in vague terms like, "Hmm... tall, with a boyish face, and a warm personality..."

But did that ever actually get you someone like that? Most people shrug it off with "Come on, an ideal type is just that, an ideal," and decide from the outset that meeting their ideal type is impossible, so they don't even bother hoping.

Why you need Ideal Type Design

Why can't we meet our ideal type? Because the ideal type we've set doesn't exist in the first place.

1. No one can perfectly match every item on your ideal-type list.

Even if Gang Dong-won is your perfect ideal in terms of looks, if you actually dated him, there would surely be things about his personality or lifestyle that don't fit you.

2. You lack the "ability" to land your ideal type.

Even if your ideal type showed up, most people aren't prepared, inside or out, to make that kind of person fall for them. Or your ideal type shows up and you don't even recognize them as such.

In other words, people want to meet their ideal type, but nobody ever stops to think about whether that ideal type would want to meet them.

Ideal Type Design was created to fill in exactly these gaps.

For example, if you want to see a lion, where should you go? The zoo, obviously.

If you go to an aquarium instead and settle for "Oh, a sea lion? That's close enough to a lion, right?", you'll end up never even catching a glimpse of the lion you actually wanted.

So is simply going to the zoo enough?

To get the lion to come to you, you need to bring meat. Bring grass or vegetables and the lion won't come anywhere near you.

In the same way, Ideal Type Design means deciding whether the person you want to meet is a lion or a tiger, pinning down where they tend to show up, preparing in advance what they're drawn to, and planning all the way to actually going there.

To sum it up once more:

It may sound obvious, but meeting 10 people while thinking carefully about who's right for you makes it far easier to find a good match than meeting 10 people at random.

Compared to the days when parents simply picked your spouse, today's dating has dating skills and emotions layered on top of specs, which has made it genuinely harder to find someone you truly love and can keep loving.

Sometimes a good person emerges as you keep meeting people, but sometimes you only realize someone was a good person after they've passed you by, or after you rejected them too early.

Only when you have the ability to catch those opportunities does meeting, and finding, a good person become easy. Putting in the effort to find your ideal type and having the right design method first, and only then going on blind dates, is what works.

The benefits of Ideal Type Design

With Ideal Type Design, you gain a standard that lets you decide whether a date is worth going on just by looking at the person's appearance and specs, without having to go on the blind date first.

It prevents the unfortunate scenario of sitting across from someone you're not even attracted to, thinking, "Well, I should at least give it three dates."

You can think of it as a "map for finding the person I want to meet," built to prevent wasted energy, wasted time, and wasted money.

Especially for those at marriageable age, if you also factor in the time you'll spend dating before the wedding,

there isn't much time left, so quickly identifying a marriage prospect is important.

That's all the more reason to put together your Ideal Type Design quickly and make an active effort to find the person who's right for you.

In the next column we'll look at how to actually fill out an Ideal Type Design,

so if you're curious, be sure to check the instructions and design the ideal type you want.